yes, we KNOW you can do bad all by yourself.

"i can do bad all by myself."

"i don't need a man, please."

"i'm focusing on ME right now, men are distractions."


if you are a Black Woman, more than likely you've heard these phrases said by a sister, friend, cousin, or your very own voice vibrating confidently over seemingly convinced vocal chords, at some point in time.

and while i'm not saying these can't be true adages sometimes, i'm finding it hard to believe that so many women are completely accepting of being alone. yes, you can do bad all by yourself. but there is also the possibility that you can do good, even great, with someone by your side.

human intimacy is a very basic and necessary need for emotional health. spending time, sharing of yourself, bonding, are all ingredients in the stew of human nature. and of course we can do this with family, but there is nothing quite as penetrating as the shared intimate moments between a Man and Woman.

and no, i don't mean just sex. sex is readily available for any woman who should desire it, at any moment in time.

i am a firm believer in what you speak out of your mouth and emit into the atmosphere, is what you will have returned to you. if you want a Good Man, say, "i will not settle for less than i deserve, and that's a Man who has these qualities..." because "i can do bad all by myself" won't return positive results, in my opinion.

the next time you hear someone say that, or you are tempted to say it yourself, really think about it. do you really LIKE being alone? odds are, you would love someone to be there to share your night with when you got home from a long day's work. odds are, you'd love to lay in the bed, be held, and share a quiet moment with someone who supplements your heart's beat.

i know there are many who will not agree with me, and i know there is a difference between being lonely and being alone. a great deal of internal growth and soul searching can be accomplished during times when there exists only you and your four walls, but for extended periods of time i don't think anyone truly wants to be without a true connection with someone.



hope all is fab and flyyness.

*smiles*